I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
