sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Can I color on your dick again?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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