mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
