I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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