yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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