I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
