why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
