So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
