party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no, he came in my armpit
I don't think brook has ever known best
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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