If i come over, it means nothing
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
