just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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