Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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