At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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