dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
