yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
