ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
