Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
