Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
