my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize