i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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