she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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