I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
