It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
