All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
