I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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