what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
