woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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