There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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