boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
