I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
