Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
