He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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