I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize