So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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