I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
