I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
