He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
