Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I need a beard to bite.
Congratulations! We have a period
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