What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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