I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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