i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
