she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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