i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.