oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.