I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks