is your mom at the bar?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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