I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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