first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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