Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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