Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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