There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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