you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You can't motorboat a personality
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
