last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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