I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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