did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
