its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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