How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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