Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize